Me and My mind

Zindagi

2012-01-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

yu hi nahi mil jaati hai chand ki chandni
saath mein raat ki tanhanyi bhi aati hai

zindagi ke har sukon lahmo mein dekha hai humne
gam ki parchaai bhi saath aati hai...

per jise chah ho chand ki, use raat ki fiqr kahan
zindagi ke rasilo ko dhoop ki parwah hi nahi
Jal jaayege pair per bus ek pal ke lia hi sahi
tumhare hone ke ahsaas ka sahara to milega

Do pal hi sahi teri muskurahat ho pass mein
zindagi bhar hamein hasne ka bahana to milega.

sabki nazar hai tujhpe....hamein to bus ek nazar de de....
hamare sapno ko ek kinara to milega.

kal ki tasveer hamein malum nahi , per aaj tasveer mein bus tum hi ho
itna hi kaafi hai hamari aankhon ke lia ise na rone ka banaha to milega...

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Har boond mein teri tasveer dekhi
ek tasveer mein kuch boond bhi dekha
tasveer teri hi thi per muskurat ke saath kuch nam bhi dekhe

uski gili aankhon se kuch rang hat se gaye the
gulabi ootho pe kuch gam bhi dekhe

uski maun ki aahat mein kuch tarang aise sune
adhoore sapno ke kuch tute umang bhi dekhe

mere dil ne bhi suni thi unn chupchap aankhon ko
meri aankhon ne bhi kuch boond teri tasveer pe gira dia...

A moment of pleasure and depression

2009-12-11T21:47:00.001-08:00

A moment of pleasure is always followed by a sense of depression. Is it something which is bound to happen as a law of nature or is it something which happens only with me as I am a person of divided mentality. What is there which needs to be understood. Human will always run toward the moments of pleasure. There is no doubt. This is basic instincts of every conscious being. But question is why depression follows this. Is it because after that moment, mind comes back to same mode where it was there before and hence relativly it feels sadness. Relative to that moment of ecstasy, mind comes back to the normal state where It misses that pleasure and feels depression and definetely when energy level goes up, mind tries to achieve that again.... This is equivalent to a boy jumping to get a mango from tree. Every time he jumps, his hand touches the mango for a moment but comes back to ground without getting it. So feels bad and wait to get the energy back again to do a new try. It seems he never gets the mango but keeps jumping for whole his life. Is there any way so that boy can get the mango fruit and human can get that ecstasy for ever he has been trying for so hard.

Life and purpose

2009-12-08T21:41:00.000-08:00

I always worry about purpose of life. It seems changing every now and then. So here is one of understanding on this mysterious term.

Purpose of life is not to earn money or any kind of resources; purpose is not to make relations in world;purpose is not to educate ourselves and have a reputed position in society(group of people);purpose is not to achieve any target either in professional life or personal life... but these are only means to get one simple thing in life and that is called Happiness. So now the whole focus is on nothing but happiness. Lets talk about that.

I assusme at some point of time, our ancestors must have talked about How to get happiness and so they made some means to feel that in life. They developed a concept called Culture and slowly we adopted that in our lives. But with time, these means took the front seat and goal got hidden. Every child comes into world is taught these means only without any understanding of his/her psyche, attitude and mindset. Without any care of either these means are good enough for him or not to really feel the happiness in life. I dont say we dont get the moment of happiness when we achieve these means as all of us wants appreciation in life and society appreciates us when we get any of the above means. But this happiness from appreciation is so momentary it is not able to satisfy our permanant need of being in happy mental state. These moments of happiness based on appreciation from thers is something which totally depends on other's words now. We get depressed when hear something wrong about us. and so We loose the control over happiness which we in the begining wanted to achieve. And this is the begining of frustrations of any type. This causes disharmony as we are being worked out for those things which we dont desire but was made desired by others.

So what should we do now. Should we break all norms of society and break off? Should we start doing something against society? against the way world is moving towards? I will say NO. But definetely We need to research once again on the term called "Happiness" and ways to feel this in our lives. We need to start thinking again on the way our realtions are with others, our dependency on others. We need to research on how our mind function. And as every one of us have a mind, thus all of us has to work on this individually. We need to understand how we work exactly; how we behave; how we react; how we feel happiness so that we can tune the mind in desired state.

Now the question is Human exists for a long long time. Our ancestors must have gone through same emptiness in life; same frustrations,same dependency on others. What they did? They must have done this research . Answer comes as Yes. Yes, they did it. and the one thing Indians have proud on is nothing but this research only which indians are really not aware of. Importat is not being proud on this at all but need to apply and do research on our own lives and get the final thing called Happiness. Just feeling proud is worthless. This research is done by a human being but not by a indian. One of the tool they researched is called Yoga. One of the way is to get a total harmony between physical, mental and emotional aspests of personality. The science of mind; The science of life. Science of self analysis and self understanding. Its not a science of belief but understanding. Its science of total acceptance of world but not rejection. This is the message of one of the researchers in this field named Swami Satyananda saraswati. He revived the science of Yoga again for the benefit of humanity. One of the finest institution which does research on this is Bihar school of Yoga established by him in 1964 in munger. The man who gave a practical meaning to a concept of "serve,love and give" in Rikhia , Deoghar. The man who inspired lakhs of people in world to start research on their mind and life. The man who was a great disciple of swami sivananda saraswati left his body on December 6th 2009 in Riklhia. This message of mine is not to remember him; no, not at all.... but we are to understand the science of mind to feel the moments of happiness in pur lives.

Live long swami jee. Its you who tells us more about ourselves and ways to live a better life :)

Bihar school of yoga: www.yogavision.net

For you!

2008-12-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

Wherever you reach,
Whatever you do,
don’t forget that you are you.

Let the Home change
Let the Surrounding move
Keep enjoying and having fun
Because you are the One

Do what your heart says
Choose the path you like
Define the Success for you
don’t forget that you are you.

-Anupam

A wonderful reading

2008-06-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Below is one of the forwarded mails I received from my friend. Really a nice way to say a very wonderful fact. Hope you will enjoy....:)

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling t hem to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said, "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups.

The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly...

And enjoy your hot chocolate.

Redefining Education

2008-06-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

We have a schooling system which have been developed and then refined time to time by many great man in history. School not only provides us an environmet of learning with the help of our teachers but it also helps in making friends, meeting hundreds of people every day and knowing them, learning from them and thus shape our thought, behavior and understanding. I have studied in navodaya school and it has given me many touching memeries and lovely friends. Its really very nice to be a part of such system. Schools should create a learning environment not based on competitions amongst students but based on interest each one has by exploring his nature and his interest. Competition imposes learning but doesnt help in imbibing this. And I see this a single reason of failure of this schooling system. It doesnt create a good interest in physics as say but force us to learn physics just to score marks. If you evaluate this kind of forceful learning by just looking at marks achieved by students, you will find it very useful as students do get good marks and for that they do study that subject too. But we forget to see one big blunder made by this kind of learning in our personality and that is it gives birth to an attitude to compete always with someone else in this world. The whole world starts working like that only. Every individual is competiting. Every organization is competiting. World has been made a place to compete and win. Happiness comes from competition only and then whole effort goes into grabing success by any means. There is no understanding but its all fighting then. We start figthing with our own mind. We start looking for success only but not the beauty of this moment we are living into. We start looking for more money but dont appreciate the wealth we already have same as we looked for getting more marks than some one in class rather just learning and be happy with our marks and learning. Learning takes back seat and competition, fighting , success by any means come to front.

I want a school where individual learns subject as well as learns appreciating learning, art, beauty and himself. I want a school which doesnt focus on creating IITians but focus on creating scientists ( One who is able to see/appreciate the physics than just remembering physics). Schools should not focus on creating clerks only..rather they should focus on making an inquisitive mind with understanding of subject. Focus should take 180 degree turn to make a whole individual. And here yoga can help a lot. It says to become aware and thats all. It enables you to be aware all the time. It makes you aware while you learn physics. It makes you aware and let you appreciate when you read shakespear. The moment we get awareness, we start understanding the subject in depth. We start understading/questionong the reason behind each theorem in physics and that is something school should focus on. Learning physics and getting good marks can be acheived at any time but seed of understanding of this has to be sown when a child begins his study. Education just for earning should be stopped. Education for creating awareness to this world, to the phenomenon of this world , to the turmoil of inner self, to the happiness of innerself and to each activities of an individual should now come into existence. Time to redefine the education has come now and we people should start taking care of our next generation by making them more aware, self dependent and able to learn/conclude by themselve rather than just imposing our ideas, our understanding, our religion and our philosophies.

Shayari from zindagi

2007-10-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

zindagi ke bahaar sametne chale the hum...
fizaaon ke dustur bina jaane...
khaak me mita diye gaye....
mere dil ke har-ek paimanee....
bus ahsaas baaki hai abb to....
mit gaye wo saare maikhaane...
na justjoo bachi abb to ..
aur naa hi hamein chahne wale
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Har aanshoo har gam hai mere
Sapne bhi abb namm hai mere
zindagi se aisi ulfat hui ki
har gamm hi abb to sanam hai mere
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dard tanhayi ka nahi...aur na hi unke jaane ka hai....
Gila to hai buss iss zindagi se ...
jiske har pal pe nasha paimaane ka hai

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dil jale se mat poocho..... ki aansoon se bhi kya aag bhujti hai
hum to bhool gaye wo duniya jahan sukun bhi hota hai

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iss duniya ki har aks mein dikhta abb mujhe dard hai
jaise tanhayian ki mahfil mein manzillon ki chahh ho....
paimanne ki justjoo mein kahin peeche na rah jaa-u mein
mahfil-e-dard mein aaj apni bhi to shaam hai

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Didar na bhi ho to bus itna bata do
kahin na kahin to ho tum iss jahan mein
HUM inn sanso ko thamkar rakhege tab tak
tumhare hone ki khusboo aa na jaaye inn fizaon mein....

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kisi ne rok rakha tha humein mahkhanne mein
poocha to kahta hai jaayega tabhi ... jo tu mitade dard ko ya mit jaaye tu hi yahan
kaise batata use......mein aur dard alag kahan ...
mitege to dono ya rahege to dono....

Importance of Yoga reveals

2007-09-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

My Guru Swami Satyanada always says "The biggest achievement in this world can be Making a friendship with your mind and manage it well." Becoming a thought-less and desire free is really one of the toughest thing to achieve. Mind has very peculiar behavior...more you get..more it wants. It can be anything i.e. money, love, fame, security, respect ...and the list goes on.... At the other end,It's tough to restrict the flow of mind forcefully. And here I find Yoga as the best method to experiment with. Whenever I get irritated, upset (these moments are well described in last blogs:)).. I do antar mouna and Yoga nidra. When I say "I"....its not my mind but "I".Mind doesnt want me to go for this. It gives me excuses not to go for these practices...and excuses are really logical.But "I" go for this and this relaxes me a lot and give me my mental peace. Although I am not looking for mental peace in my life..but at the time of depression ..getting this is a grace.I hope Yoga can make me a thoughtless person and then bring the shine of intution in my life..where there will be no confusion ..no conflict between me and my mind... desires will not drive me ..rather I will drive my desires..my way of life..and my thought process.... And Yoga claims this change. I do Yoga not for mental health..not for thought clarity..not for peace...not for God...but to become a thoughless but intutive person who can be driver of his own vehicle called Life.

Waiting for Light

2007-09-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

My mind has become very receptive. I dont know it's a outcome of Mantra chanting or the last three years of my life style has affected my way of thinking. Nothing seems organized. My life, my way of thinking, my understanding. I remember I was in this state of mind when i was in first year at IIT and then after 7 years, i have moved to same mental state.As mind has become receptive, I am quick to ingest good things and bad things too. Quick to ingest comments from others either bad or good. These comments never affected me ..my life..my way of thinking. I always had a stand on every thing but now it seems that i have lost it. I am loosing it drop by drop every day.I am always aware to my mental conditiongs and limitations. I can see the unorganized behavior of mine, I can see the cloud of thoughts in my mind....stopping the sun shine of intuition to come into my life. I am not able to take a single decision ... i am not firm with my commitments. I know I was not like that and I am not like that internally..but i can see somehting happening with me in course of time and I cam helplessly watching this whole event... What to do. where to go. Should I take a decision and then move on this until I achieve this..it may give me self confidence and self-belief. I know behind this cloud of thoughts, there is a Sun shining and waiting for me. I know that after this period of imbalance I will achieve the great bliss.I am waiting my destiny to take me to light. I will wait and wait till you come into my life and tell me "Hey Anupam, see I have brought light for you...just open your eyes and see me..my beauty ..my shine......I am waiting for you to come my destiny....

Weep sometime ..this is also a gift to us

2007-09-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

Laughter is always considered one of the best exercise for everyone. It definetely helps in forgetting issues, problems of your present life. You forget surrounding and be yourself completely. I will say this is nothing but the transition to childhood where you are just yourself and not conditioned. I am really very fortunate to get many chances to celebrate this joy in my life. But there are lot of times when you are lost in your thoughts. You are very upset. You want to know something ..want to do something about which you know nothing.You are alone completely... sometime physically and sometime mentally loneliness. "Laugh" is no more celebration at all. You can't transcend your present mental conditionings and go into childhood state of being. At that moment, "Weep" is the greatest friend. Weep for a couple for minutes and it will come naturally as you are in that mental state. Keep on weeping for few minutes and you will feel lightness. This lightness is not something you try to impose on yourself over high stress artificially. This emerges when stree, upset, unhappiness , dukh goes away... and you feel great..might be more relaxed than after Laugh. Weeping is also a gift of God. Weep if your mind says to you..dont try to control this. It will change you in a great way.... try it sometime when you feel completely lost and alone in this big world. After this experience, I can say ...Nature has two extremes....Laugh and Weep..and both are invented by God (Nature) to make us ourselves...a transition to childhood. This is not a mere philosophy but a real gift from God...to please us and to release us... Thank you God :)

Dilemma of Life

2007-07-16T00:37:00.000-07:00

Is life so fixed? I came into world, i have been brought up , i studied , i came to job and now people are talking of my marriage. I dont know about the After marriage life but can predict a lot of things looking at my married friend's life. You earn more and more and then you get child and then you start taking care of them .... and then life ends between the happiness and sorrows of life. I know Life ends as i have seen my father leaving us . He didnt take a single stuff with him. He left us without saying a single word...without taking his single belonging with him. I put his body into fire...so i am damn sure this same thing will happen with me too one day. Just wanna to know is it all about the life? I agree that mind gets attracted to wealth..name..fame..love..sex..beauty. I agree that its very difficult to resist.But If we dont resist, we go into a menaingless loop..and if we resist, i dont know... we may die in our own frustrations. Which way to go... is there any one who can tell me what life is..why should i live...why should i struggle....just to spend my time and forget myself, should I keep myself busy. Is there anything worth to struggle for? I dont know ... I am just swinging like a pendulam between these questions. Sometime i feel i should do this and next moment i feel nope...i should never go for that..and that is the way i am living my life. I am spending days, week and years. surely meantime i get promotion, raise in salary, sometime appreciation..sometime insult..and it goes on. People think I am moving forward...they feel sad and happy about this. I too feel but its for a moment and then i go to the very same mental state. Should I leave myself on my fate or stand up to do something which can give some meaning..some real happy moments..some worth to my life..to me...to my existence.

I say to everyone to Have Fun.... sometime i also want to live these words. But there is always a big question mark at the end :)

Life is a song which is meaningless

2007-07-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

Life is a song which is meaningless... this is my email signature. I was in great depression, again trying to know what i am looking for in life and where i am going to.... just looking at my office desktop monitor ...with a mind full of thoughts. I by chance got a small note from osho on life.I started reading that and my mind stuck at a line and that is "Life is a song which is meaningless". I dont know why...but this gave me immense relief(Shanti)...a great mental peace....for a long time. It just told me...hey you just have to sing a song which doesnt have any meaning...doesnt have any purpose to serve. It jusy says me...just sing...without any expectation. You are not here to server any purpose. You have not been sent for any mission on earth...you are on holiday...:) ... you just live..enjoy time....enjoy looking others...enjoy your thoughts...enjoy your presence here. Expectation from self goes away. I dont have any expectation at all.Often i go back to my normal mental plane where I again start struggle to win , to get , to achieve something or other...but the moment my eyes go on this sentence...i feel relief...shanti...peace...Perhaps this is something Lord krishna tries to say in Geeta... Work..work..work.. without the notion or expectations of fruits.. You will be free man ...you will be a enjoying man.... I dont know either its true or false...but i know one thing....for the period of time, when this thought is dominant in my mind...i enjoy each moment and feel happiness...a relief...a great relief.

2007-07-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

What do I need? I have spent a lot of time just thinking and deciding on what i need in life. I came up with different thing everytime i thought of this . Sometime I wanted to be proffessionaly good, sometime want to go for sannyas, sometime want to do a lot for others, sometime want name fame and money. But not a single thing i can decide to go for that as this is so volatile that it changes before second passes in a clock. I failed miserable in finding out this. Now living a life with a local goals (like local minima in maths) . Today I want to sleep, so i sleep for a day. Today i want to work , so work for a day. Today I want to read , so read for a day and so on. Dont know where to go, why to go..how to go never comes as this comes when u decide where to go.

I have been brought up in a very delicate combination of Spirituality and materialistic environment. I have been taught that these dont contradict but they follow each other. Within development reflects at outside and Outer development helps in inner purification. I am not confused with the philosophy or its applicability..but dont know why to go at all on any of the paths. Why this life has been given to me. For fun...for love...for lust...for earning money,name,fame...or to learn and teach......for what.......for what and why.....No answer. everyone is silent except my mind. It keeps on thinking, talking , trying to understand....but thsi duration has become so long that i have bored now. I dont want to think..want to destroy this thinking itself. Wanna to be alone..but i am not alone... thoughts are all around... surrounding me..i dont know why and but it is. Thoughts of fear, insecurities, passion..and all...

Can you help me .... nope... i dont think so...as sometime i think i dont want to help myself any more. Might be i am waiting for something to come and destroy me completely... if with this body mind also goes away..i will be most happiest person to go for this. But i am not sure. People say ..no it doesnt happen. Mind is always there and you have to control this.... but i think i cant. i can engage this , can give excuse and forget this for some time but cant control..cant destroy...cant be owner ..... every moment is passing and i am finding myself in a room darker than before. Will this darkness continue or this is something just before dawn. God knows if he exists. IF he doesnt, then i am completely lost. Lost in this world where people are struggling every moment for their exisitence, ego, position, love, emotion.... I am lost.... Should i try to be like others and try to engagae completely myself in world...or should i wait ..wait and wait for the morning to come. Will it be possible before I leave the world.